


Batfamily Headcanons

by ImpulsivelyBlue



Series: Blue's Headcanons [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DC - Fandom
Genre: Blue's Headcanons, Gen, batfamily Headcanons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:40:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpulsivelyBlue/pseuds/ImpulsivelyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Anonymous asked: Batfam headcanon: what type of breakfast is their favorite (each one please)?</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Batfam headcanon: what type of breakfast is their favorite (each one please)?

Anonymous asked: Batfam headcanon: what type of breakfast is their favorite (each one please)?

 

Alfred would drink his tea while the rest of the family eats breakfast and he makes sure that his kitchen isn’t blown up or set on fire. Before that he would eat plain cereal, like cornflakes, before he has some buttery toast.

—-

I think Bruce would be trying to consume as much coffee as he was physically capable of in the morning. He would probably eat some toast because no one got away from Alfred’s watchful eye. No one.

—-

Everyone would probably have to dodge Dick trying to get all of them to eat some kind of surgery monstrosity that he calls cereal, while he perches on a chair glaring at them all, because no Broooose it’s good, just taste a little bit!

—-

I see Damian being picky. He would have had different foods from his mother that would allow him to consume the right amount of energy, nutrients and natural sugars. I don’t think he’ll want that now. He’ll probably eat something different everyday looking for something he really likes.

—-

Steph would eat pancakes. She would pile on fruits, spreads and sauces. It would look good and then as things were added it would look ether better or worse. Nobody takes Steph’s pancakes, no matter how many times she tells them that they don’t taste like paste.

—-

Cass would still be confused about the whole family being together in a sleep deprived and grumpy state, and will sit with her toast, with different spreads on, and grab a glass of orange juice.

—-

Jason would eat anything in the morning. Toast? Okay then. Cereal? Sure. Bagels? Why the hell not. But put meat and eggs anywhere near him you’ll get a half hour speech that you can’t get away from about why eggs aren’t just for breakfast and meat! What’s wrong with you? Meat!? In the morning? No. And don’t even try to get near his tea, bitch he will cut you.

—-

Tim would eat loads of food at breakfast. He would drink almost as much coffee as Bruce and sneak away with some of Dick’s cereal. He wouldn’t accept Steph’s offer of sharing pancakes but he would take some of her chopped fruit. Alfred would help him make bacon and eggs and anything else he could get away with making, because Master Tim no I’m not leaving you at the stove half awake not after last time, and would then be subjected to one of Jason’s rants about what are appropriate breakfast foods and what are not.

Ask blue-jello-for-spiderman a question #Alfred pennyworth #Damian Wayne #Dick Grayson #Bruce Wayne #Tim drake #Steph Brown #Cass Cain #Blue's Headcanons #headcanon #Jason Todd #breakfast


	2. Jason And The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Bruce having the "The Talk" with Jason Todd.

Anonymous asked: Bruce having the "The Talk" with Jason Todd.

 

That would be so awkward.

Jason would be trying to purposefully make Bruce uncomfortable.

Bruce would be trying to explain things to him and, because Bruce is emotionally constipated, he wouldn’t get through the first sentence. (Jason knows what he’s trying to do, why should he make this any easier?)

Bruce would go to Alfred for help and he would be no Master Bruce I’m not helping. *disapproving look*

Bruce would ask Superman for help, because he went through this with Connor right? Wrong. He left that to Ma and Pa. There’s no way in hell he’s asking the Flash or Martian Manhunter, he doesn’t actually want to scar Jason for life.

Eventually he goes back to Jason and tries to talk to him again and after an hour of Jason’s mocking and Bruce’s stutters it turns out Dick’s already spoken to Jason and school had sex education lessons soooo…

(Dick told Jason because no one wants to go through that kind of conversation the way he did. Batman gave him the talk. Batman. Cape and cowl. Right there. Just before patrol. It was so weird and mentally traumatising.)

Ask blue-jello-for-spiderman a question #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #The Talk #Batman #Nightwing #Robin #Red Hood #Blue's Headcanonsx


End file.
